The Kitchen Confidential

Since I started working at a young age, working in kitchens with men that were a little rough around the edges it most definitely was not always easy. It took years for me to realize what I was capable of however it didn't take much time for my peer line cooks to see what I was capable of and use my own doubt against me. In the earlier years of me in the kitchen people really took their time to train and explain things to me making me feel supported by the others in the kitchen team.

After some time I realized that most kitchen folk are not going to welcome me with open arms like my first job did and show me the ropes. It started to become a new normal for chefs and other cooks to see how much I could take in efforts to get me to be emotionally reactive from sabotaging my prep, to throwing plates, locking me in the walk-in fridge, yelling in my face as if we were in the military, calling me just about every name under the sun and oh yes, sexual harassment.

However when things got tough I knew I couldn't give up because first things first I knew that's what they all wanted and I knew that they were secretly jealous. Jealous that I was half their age doing the same damn thing they were. The guys in the kitchen would always pride themselves on their insinuation that the kitchen was the man's place and was too much for women and that's why I was the only woman there. I knew they would always do their best to try to make it unbearable for me which made me even more of a force to be reckoned with. I remember several kitchens I was employed to work in almost as a joke to see if I would even come back after my first day after throwing me on the saute or grill station with nothing but the menu they gave to guests to set myself up with and to teach myself how to make the dish.

Looking back, these experiences were outright abusive and I know that these situations are not unique to me as this is the reality for many women in the kitchen. However, as much as I wouldn’t want to do it all over again, I am grateful that this led me to be the thick skinned chef I am today.